Landry: 1 month

I'm a week late with Landry's 1 month update but hey, at least I'm getting it done now :)

We took him to the doctor this past Tuesday and he was 5 lbs 11 ounces and 18 1/4" long. He gained almost 1 lbs in 2 weeks which is great and also grew another inch, 2 inches since birth!

Dr. Jones looked him over and gave him a great bill of health. I had a concern because he only turns his head to one side, prefers to eat on one side and sleeps with his head one side. I was worried he'd get a stiff neck from it or a flat head. His right side is a little more flat but nothing to be concerned over yet. Dr. J gave us some exercises to try. He's so stubborn about it that I will swaddle him and turn him on the other side only to find him turn to his preferred side.

We also had the Early Childhood Intervention consultant that day. Any child who is behind in development because they were born early or were small for gestational age qualifies for these services. We will get monitored to see if Landry falls behind in any development and if so then he can have therapy to catch up. It went well, he failed in all his areas just because of his weight, gestational age, birth history, etc. I'm not concerned, I think he will catch up with time in all the areas he needs to be at. But until then we will monitor him.

On Thursday we went to the hematologist and his platelets were 139, down from 2 weeks prior but there were also several clumps that the machine didn't count so we think the number is higher. His red blood cells are still enlarged so we will monitor and go again in 2 weeks

My friend Mandy came out and took some AMAZING pictures of Landry. I'm so thrilled with the shots she captured. With Jaxson, he was awake the entire time, Brody was too young to get any pictures with and we only got a few really good shots. With Landry, he was awake as well (little stinker) but zonked out towards the end to let Mandy do her work. We got a ton of really good pics. My house and work is going to be covered in wonderful memories! Thanks again Mandy! You are so talented.

Life as a family of 5 & Csection recovery

We have settled into a new routine as a family of 5. Landry has been with us for 5 weeks now and it's as if he was a missing piece to the puzzle. The boys absolutely adore him and going from 2 to 3 kids has been a lot easier than from 1 to 2. I think it is because Brody and Jaxson have each other to play with and entertain one another, where before I was Brody's playmate and then couldn't play with him as much once I had Jax.

Logistically it is harder. Getting 3 kids ready to go, finding shoes, packing bags, getting them in the car is exhausting just to go for a drive or over to the parents house. I haven't ventured out by myself with all 3 yet except to go to my parents. Even just running an errand I ask if someone will go with me and then they sit in car with kids while I run into store. I can't imagine going by myself into the store with all 3 or going out to dinner, that might have to wait a few years :) It's a lot of work but it is definitely worth every ounce of sweat and tears, lol.

My recovery is going slowly which is extremely frustrating. With the 2 older boys I was fine after a week or two, could lift, clean and do all the things I like to do just fine. Here I am 5 weeks out and I'm still in some pain in one area of my incision (I think I have a stitch sticking out still that didn't dissolve! yuck ) and still can't do the things I want to do. If I lift Jax out of his crib or help Brody onto the potty I pay for it later in the day and am in pain around my incision site or my muscles around my pelvis are sending sharp pains throughout. I don't know if this is normal or if I've done too much from the beginning that has slowed my recovery but it's not fun. I can't not pick up my kids or do things around the house! I go back to the doctor the 24th so hopefully I will get some reassurance that it is normal and will just take time.

Landry: NICU Week 2

Saturday, July 14th: we got to put Landry in his first outfit that night. Everything was still big on him but he looked adorable :)

Sunday, July 15th: probably my hardest day! I went home to see the boys that morning, that was amazing!! They were so excited to see me and I them. We snuggled, hugged, ate breakfast and just loved on each other. We then went back up to the hospital, ate lunch, went to Build a Bear and then the boys went home with daddy. It tore my heart out to say goodbye to them.

Brody would say "I be a good helper and stay with you and baby brother"
or he would ask if daddy could stay with Landry and I come home with him. He would tell me he was gonna miss me and it just tore me in two. I get teary eyed just thinking about it. I know they were well taken care of and that they won't remember this but wanting to be with them, knowing they want me and feeling guilty for not being with them was my worst pain!

This is the day/night that I say I lost my shit. I was in pain, exhausted, missing my family, worried sick about Landry and what was causing his low platelets. I was just mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted and this was definitely my low point. That night I had nurse Brandy and a great charge nurse. We had to do a lot of blood work that night with Landry and I just lost it. You know the ugly, snotty, I can't stop crying type. I wanted to be home, I wanted Landry to be ok, I wanted to not be hurting, I was just done!! Luckily my nurses were AMAZING and picked me up! They told me it was ok that I was here and not home, that my 2 older boys would survive and forgive me for not being there with them, etc...They understood and got the stress and pain that I was in. The head nurse even said she would sit with Landry while I go and take a hot shower and just let it all out, get all my crying out and that I'd feel much better. You are in such a vulnerable spot being so emotional and feeling such raw pain and I will be forever grateful for those 2 ladies that night as I lost my shit and then got it back together again!

Monday - Thursday: I stopped journaling but basically everything began to stabalize for Landry and he spent those days just being a baby and eating, pooping, sleeping, etc. Wednesday the buzz was that if Landry could pass 4 test: gain weight, maintain temperature, pass carseat and hold steady on platelets that we would be able to go home Thursday!! And boy things started moving fast! Brandon and I both had to watch several videos together. CPR and don't shake your baby to death(so sad we had to actually watch this!) and then get the car seat, make sure it was for a baby under 5 pounds, get some vitamins that L needs, etc...and then we began what Cooks calls "rooming in". It where they take Landry off all monitors, warmer, etc and I'm to do everything (although I was doing that anyway) for the day/night. We both did great and come Thursday morning we were being discharged!! Landry passed all his test although he was making us very nervous during the carseat test as he was having several little decels but he passed!

We came home and life has been great. We are so abundently blessed and in love with our family of 5

Landry's NICU stay week 1

There's so many blessings in Landry's story that I hate to even think of our NICU stay. When he got over to Cook's Children NICU we found out that he had a critical platelet count of 7(measured in thousands), you are suppose to have between 100-150. He was at extreme risk for internal bleeding, mainly brain bleeds.

Blessing: if Landry was born vaginally it would have almost guaranteed him a brain bleed with platelets that low and the pressure of contractions and birth canal.

He also had low sugars and a heart murmur.

Sunday, July 8th: He was born at 10:57 pm on Saturday and when I called over to Cooks at 6 am they were telling me he needed a platelet transfusion (this begun the fight of get me over to him right now or I'm going to lose it). So when I got over there he had an IV in his foot because his blood sugar was low and they needed to start him on D10 (pretty much like sugar water). He also had to get a feeding tube in. He ate a bottle over at Harris and took 15 out of 20 cc's for the 2nd feeding but by the third feeding he only took 5 cc and he had to eat to keep his sugars up. So he was now getting 20 cc's every 3 hours via his tube. They then had to start an IV in his hand for the transfusion.

Hell: watching your itty bitty peanut get poked and proded on for blood sugars and IV's.

It is torture watching him scream in pain and the nurses dig around in a vein to get it started. I know it is necessary but that doesn't make it any easier to stand there and watch.

After the first transfusion his platelets went up, I believe to the 170's.After the transfusion I had to go back to Harris to get assessed, get pain pills, pump, etc. Between the time I left and checked in with Brandon a hour later Landry had been placed on CPAP as he was working too hard to breath. It was actually called bubble CPAP because his lungs were sticking together. They were slightly premature in their development and were "sticky" from his body not producing enough surfactin. The bubble CPAP put moisture in his lungs to help them from sticking together. He HATED the mask that went over his nose and hated the nose prongs even more. Sunday night he fought the nurses all night long pulling out his CPAP and even pulling out his feeding tube.

His sugars were up and down. Anything under 50 meant he had to get tested every 3 hours, once before a feeding and then again after a feeding.

Hell: multiple heal pricks. Those nurses bend and squeeze the crap out of those hells to geth enough blood. At one point both his feet were black and purple. His right foot actually had a tissue break down from the constant tape being taken on and off. At first it looked like a blister but then it quickly started to get yellow puss and oozing. We stopped all heal pricks and blood pressure cuffs on that foot. I put a sock over it and it was the "don't touch that foot" sock and we applied antibiotic ointment on it.

Monday, July 9th: I finally got to hold Landry Monday morning. It was the greatest feeling ever and he absolutely loved it. His entire face became puffy and swollen from the CPAP and his eyes were swollen shut. Heartbreaking to see him try and open his eyes and they were just too swollen :( He was a little yellow looking so they checked his rubella and it was an 8 but luckily quickly went down from there. He was extremely tired today from the previous days event and didn't have much energy at all. His sugars that night were in the 30's so they had to turn up his IV and increaed his feedings to 28cc's. His platelets that night were 93.

Tuesday, July 10th was a hard day. The doctor's began telling us all these things that they thought could be going on with Landry. Things like NAIT, an antibody that my body launched on him that was attacking his platelets. CMV virus, Parvovirus, MMA, and numerous other scary things that shouldn't be googled by a postpartum mama. He also pulled out his tube again and the nurse didn't even know it. We had just returned from Harris and when I went to check on him he had formula everywhere. He also started spitting up occasionally, was very gassy and sugars were very low. Tuesday night we had our first experience with an awful nurse. It was so hard for me to leave him that night and I ended up staying til almost midnight until I was in so much pain I had to return to Harris to get medicine. Luckily Brandon had been staying with him every night and assured me he was keep his eye on the nurse.

Wednesday, July 11th was by far the longest and crappiest day of our stay. I got discharged from Harris! So there was a lot of going back and forth that day. I was so excited to finally be in one place and to stay the night with Landry. They took him off CPAP and he did great! He was much happier without the mask. That morning his platelets had plummeted to 44 so he needed his 2nd transfusion. We were about 20 minutes into the transfusion that his IV blew in his hand and the platelets were going into his hand. His entire hand, fingers and part of his wrist were black. He looked like Dumbledorf's hand on Harry Potter. It looked absolutely awful. The nurse called it an IV burn and said it would be tender and painful for a couple of days and slowly fade away. He also began spitting up after every single feed. At first it was just a little but by the end of the day he was losing everything he was taking in. My milk had finally come in so I told the nurses no more formula and they agreed that he was having a formula intolerance. Once we switched over to my breast milk he stopped spitting up. We facetimed with Brody that evening and Landry became wide-eyed and was searching for Brody's voice, it was so sweet. That evening when the nurse changed his bedding and I held him while he did that he began rooting around, it was so exciting! They did morning labs at 3 am every morning. That night we slept from 12:30 - 3:00 and his blood draw went smoothly and he didn't cry until she pulled out the needle. When the lab ladies draw the blood it's defintely better than when the nurses do it. His sugar was 76, which is great so he didn't have to get a heal prick for another 6 hours and they could decrease his IV fluid (if it's above 60 they can decrease by 1, he was at an 11) Platelets were 165.

Thursday, July 12th: he got to nurse! I was so excited and cried when he knew exactly what to do. With preemies you never know if they will remember to suck, swallow and breath as they usually forget one. He actually nursed for 25 minutes. His sugars were borderline at 51 so they didn't get to lower his IV but didn't have to prick him either until 6 hours later. His platelets were 148 (starting to decrease again)
That night his sugars were 89 so they were able to turn down his IV. He was also having some desats that night and his breathing became labored. So we started watching him and the little stinker was holding his breath! The nurse and I couldn't believe it. He also had his first bath! He loved it and was so snuggled in his warm blankets after that he immediately zonked out.

Friday, July 13th: Platelets were 138 and he blew his onlhy good iv so they were going to start one in his head. This was the 2nd time I got pissed at a crappy nurse. All the others were simply amazing. There is a "iv specialist" that is great at getting IV's. All of Landry's locations were shot and the only place they could get one was his head. So they were waiting on this "specialist" to come start it. I told my nurse that I wanted to wait for her and that I wanted to be there to sooth Landry while they started the IV. She said she would be a little while if Brandon and I wanted to go grab lunch. So we went down to the kitchen (you can't eat anything in the rooms) and ate really quickly only to return to the crappy nurse trying to start the IV in his head!!! I was pretty sure I was going to punch the lady but she had a needle in my kids head so I refrained but boy was I boiling. Of course she didn't get the vein and blew it! My poor baby had been a pin cushion. Luckily the other nurse that was there pulled out the blown IV in his arm and found a good vein on that hand and got it going. He was able to completely ween off the fluids throughout the day and night and we stopped the D10 fluid. This also began the weight loss, that night he lost 30 grams. That 3 am blood draw was torturous and took 3 hours!! They had order a few test that morning so they needed quite a bit of blood. When they would find a good vein and get in it would quickly stop bleeding soon after. It was just awful. The charge nurse even came in and tried and kept apolgizing to Landry and I, we were both in tears by 6 am when they finally got all the blood they needed only for labs to tell us some of it wasn't good because it had already clotted. AWFUL! So they had to stick him one more time to get blood. The charge nurse went off on the lab people telling them not to be sitting on their butts letting this blood clot and my mama claws didn't have to come out thanks to her.
Friday, July

Saturday, July 14th: Landry is one week old!! He spent the majority of the day sleeping thanks to his 3 hour blood draw and didn't even attempt to nurse, we tube fed all his feedings until about 3 when he finally decided to wake up. His blood sugars remained high and we got to dress him for the first time. He also was moved to room air to see if he could hold his body temp without the help of the warmer. He did great as long as he was bundled up or skin to skin.

I will update NICU stay week 2 shortly!