Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Doc Update

Had a good visit today at the doc's office, here's the run down:

-My cervix hasn't changed-Yippeee
-She is allowing me to go on MODIFIED bed rest which allows me to get up out of bed and do little things around the house or go out to dinner. She said I have a limit of 4 hours per day.
-I go back next Friday for another fFn test and check up.
-I asked her when she "thinks" I'll get off bedrest completely and she said not until I'm 36 weeks...bummer

I'm very happy about the modified bedrest. It allows me to at least get things done around the house. I know B is tired of waiting on me hand and foot.

So for our first day of modified bedrest we went to a movie, Marley & Me, it was really good. I don't recommend it if you've recently put down a dog like B and I have or if you're hormonal and pregnant but other than that it was really funny and hit home quite a bit. We have had several dogs that are similar to Marley!

So we have 6 more weeks of being at home and in bed. Tomorrow I'll be on bed rest for 3 weeks. If I do get off bed rest at 36 weeks then that will leave me with 2 weeks before being induced. B doesn't think I'll make it to 38 or even 36 weeks, he thinks the bigger Brody gets the less likely my uterus will behave so we will see. I'll be happy to get to 34 weeks.

Til next time,

Monday, December 29, 2008

30 Weeks

30 Week Belly Shots - 8 more weeks baby - keep on growing in there!

I've recovered from what I can only guess was a 24 hour stomach bug and feeling much better today. It seems any little thing can cause me to have a break down right now and for me to have a pity party and start asking the what next questions but I'm good to go now after crackers, spirit and a good nights rest...oh and begging for mercy to my great Lord. He heard my cries and made it a quick bug :)

Here's Brody's development at 30 weeks, can you believe he will be here in 8 short weeks, we only have 56 days to go!
This week your baby continues to open and shut his eyes. He can probably see what's going on in utero, distinguish light from dark and even track a light source. If you shine a light on your stomach, your baby may move his head to follow the light or even reach out to touch the moving glow. Some researchers think baring your stomach to light stimulates visual development. But don't expect 20/20 vision when your baby is born -- newborns can see a distance of only about 8 to 12 inches/ 20 to 30 centimetres. (Children with normal vision don't reach 20/20 vision until about age 7 to 9.) To complete the picture, your baby now has eyebrows and eyelashes. Your baby's total length is 17 inches and weighs around 3 - 3.5 pounds.
I hope everyone had a great Christmas! I know B and I lucked out this year and got great gifts. We started off at my aunt Barbara's house for Christmas eve with my mom's family. We had a great time and it was so good to be out of the house. My cousin, Charlie, has a 6 month old English Bulldog and I was in heaven loving on TJ. He's too cute. We then played our family tradition of cards(contract) and of course my grandma Marilyn took all our money! She always wins! We also played the chinese exchange game and I won 5 bucks and a 10 dollar gift card to McDonald's which everyone knows is my favorite place!

On Christmas morning we went over to my parents where there was a live tree that Santa brought waiting for me in their living room. Ever since I was a little girl I've had a real tree except for this year, with everything going on know one got one. My parents are the greatest :) Love you mom and dad. This is where B and I made out.Here's a few of our favorite gifts, or at least mine, B will have to do his own post :)

After we left my parents house we went over to B's parents to eat lunch. Nana had fixed the best ever lunch with all of our favorites! We made out there as well in gifts! Thanks Nana and Poppy. Aunt Marcy got Brody a few outfits and toys that I know he will love. It seems like just yesterday her 2 boys were playing with toys similar to these.

Aunt Mandy found these great pics for Brody's room and is going to help me decorate the nursery while I'm on bedrest. Thanks Mando!

Thanks Aunt Judy for Brody's Christmas present: its the high chair cover/grocery cart cover, it will come in very handy here in a few months!

And I must thank Aunt Marg for my little gifts in the mail. I love getting things in the mail and it brightens up my day :)

Nana's been hard at work getting the rocker cushions started and said that she should have everything finished by next weekend! I'm oh so excited to see the final product and to get everything organized.

With all the running around we did for Christmas I'm very proud to report that I had little contractions except for yesterday while sick. I've adjusted well to the lower dosage of Procardia and don't have any side effects from it. My fFn test that we did last week came back negative which means I have less than 1% chance of going into labor in the next 2 weeks--Awesome! And for the first time in my pregnancy my thyroid levels were stable...so we don't have to adjust the meds. I'm really going to talk with Dr. B tomorrow and push for no bedrest since I've had little contractions and my fFn test came back negative. I'm sure she will want to check my cervix but I figured if it's still closed tight I'll be good to go. I've planned out the whole day if I get off bedrest and its suppose to be beautiful weather so I'm really hoping for a good report tomorrow :)

I'll update after tomorrow appointment...that is if I'm home :)

Sunday, December 28, 2008


Sundays are usually my development updates but 30 weeks will have to wait until tomorrow or Tuesday. I've been having contractions and an upset stomach all day which really disgust me. I've had 2-3 really good days with little to no contractions and was feeling really upbeat thinking I'd have a good report on Tuesday for Dr. B and she'd let up on the bedrest.

All hope diminished starting late last night and now today since I've pretty much been contracting all day. I'm not sure if my stomach ache is irritating my uterus making me contract or if my contractions are causing my upset stomach. Either way I'm fed up with this! I'm tired of sitting in this bed doing nothing at all or trying to do very little things only to end up back in bed because my stupid uterus starts acting up

I'm over it!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Doc Update

The doctor's appointment went well this morning...here's the run down:

-I'm still on bedrest
-She took another Fft test and we should get results over Christmas...she said if it's positive she will call me and if its negative then I won't hear from her.
-She lowered my dose of Procardia to help with the side effects but if I start contracting alot I have to go back on the higher dose.
-I'm still having contractions, had 4 while hooked up on the monitors for 30 minutes this morning.
-CERVIX HASN'T CHANGED! Which is great, means the contractions aren't causing me to dilate.
-I asked why we were worried about these if they weren't changing my cervix. She said that I have a very irritated uterus and they could very well put me into full blown labor or cause my water to break so we have to be careful.
-She said that if this Fft test comes back negative and I do ok on the lower dose of Procardia she might give me moderate bedrest, meaning I can do things around the house instead of just laying in bed. But she isn't getting brave with me and allowing me to get off bedrest until 34 weeks. So I have 5 weeks to go on bedrest, at the least.
-Obviously this isn't what I was hoping for and isn't the best scenerio as far as work. FMLA allows me 12 weeks. I have another week of vacation so then I will start my FMLA...if he does hold out until 38 weeks my 12 weeks will be up when he's 5 weeks old, I was hoping to stay home 6-8 but I guess that's not going to happen. That also means I won't get paid for 12 weeks...but I can't stress about it
-We go back next Tuesday for another check up and see how I'm doing.
-I'm getting a cold

Keep the prayers coming please,

Sunday, December 21, 2008

29 Weeks - Single Digits!

9 more weeks! We have made it to the single digits in weeks left until Brody's debut. I cannot believe how fast time is flying and how pregnant I am! We only have 63 days left...wow!

Well its been a very interesting week. Bedrest isn't the greatest but its not as bad as I thought it would be thanks to the internet and a nintendo DS. Brody is getting stronger and stronger. He's been moving all around and has definitely found my ribs. He rolls from one side of my stomach making it lopsided and then will roll back to the other. It's really cute. Brandon was putting pictures up on our new bookcase and there was a picture of him and I when we were probably 1 or 2. I could almost picture the way Brody's going to look and it makes me so excited for him to be here. This week I've also experienced the joys of serious heartburn. I don't know if its because I'm having to lay down more or because he's bigger and pushing things up or the combo of both but OMG it hurts! It feels like a hole is being burnt into my chest. And it's always right around the time I'm going to sleep!

I got bored and decided to change my background around. My friend Mandy made me this great header...she has a real talent with these things. I stayed up one night til 2:30 trying to make myself a header and couldn't even get letters on there correctly. Mandy emails me like 6 or 7 last night for me to use and play with. She also sent me the cutest cookie bouquet this week, those are my favorite! Thanks Mando you are the best.

Last night was B's family Christmas and it was so nice to get out of the house, don't worry I still laid down on the couch! Of course I forgot my camera.

We go back to the doctor tomorrow and I'm hoping and praying I can get off bedrest and reduce the dosage of my meds. The side effects are almost unbearable at times.

Here's Brody's development this week: although I'm sure he is bigger than this considering he's measuring 2 weeks ahead.
At this point in your pregnancy, your baby's crown-to-rump length is approximately 10.4 inches and the total length of your baby is around 16.7 inches. Your baby weighs about 2.7 pounds and continues to grow every day, putting on approximately 1/2 a pound per week. Your baby will continue to open and close his eyes in the womb and may be able to see silhouettes of objects or even people in the right amount of light. Your baby should be moving many times throughout the day.
Here's pictures from this week:

New cabinets in living room: ignore the wires we are getting the electrician out to rewire :)

The living room looks SO much better with our new cabinets! Thanks Kevin

Brody's first Christmas gifts from Andy and Ben

My yummy cookie bouquet from Mandy

This is what the dogs do while mommy's on bedrest

29 Week Belly shot: Molly just had to be in the pic

I wanted to thank everyone for the well wishes and prayers. I've had family and friends call, bring things over, have things delivered, clean, do laundry and redecor and organize a room :) Brandon and I appreciate everything so much and please keep the prayers coming that Brody stays in there longer to grow and gain weight.

I'll update tomorrow,

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Week 1

It's been a week since I got into bed....that's 7 days....168 hours...10,080 minutes. Yup this is what you do when you are on bedrest. I want to get up off my butt and run down the street...I hate running but right now would love to run. I want to get up and do laundry...pick up the clothes off the floor that I pass on my way to the bathroom, throw this food bag away in the kitchen so my room doesn't smell like Chick-fil-a, walk by Brody's room so I can get the biggest grin on my face and feel all warm and fuzzy, go Christmas shopping with the little money I have, I ACTUALLY WANT TO GO TO WORK! Some of you might be thinking what is she complaining about...she's at home in bed all day...yeah well its all fun and games the first 1 or 2 days...try it long term...and don't forget, you can't get up for jack but to pee. I actually go try and pee even when I don't need to just to get up and move. Do you know how long a day is when you aren't doing anything? Forget the stupid tv, it's not entertaining anymore. So I'm listening to XM Christmas music watching Brody dance around because its his favorite music right now...he's so much like his momma.

Ok done with my vent for the day...I'll suck it up now and put on the happy attitude.

PS: You wanna know who doesn't get tired of bed rest? Two boxers named Haus and Molly...they haven't moved in two days from this bed...seriously?!?!

Love ya,

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


The doctors office just called with some good news...I passed my gestational diabetes test and I am not anemic!! Yippeee

I've been in bed all day listening to my two dogs snoring away as its too cold for them to be outside. They literally have not moved all day long. I lesson planned for the rest of the week. The only thing left I have to do is get a powerpoint review together for my students.

Nana came over and brought me Jason's Deli baked potato and brocelli cheese soup(my favorite). Thanks Nana...Brody loved it as he's been jumping around all day.

My mom is getting me an early Christmas gift:

I'm super excited as it will entertain me for quite awhile

I'm also into Call of Duty right now but this one is more difficult than Mario

I've only had a handful of contractions today and those were because I let my bladder get to full and that irritated the uterus so today is a good day!

Talk to you soon,

Prayer Request

I believe in the power of prayer. I believe that our wonderful Lord can do miraclous things and I've seen evidence of this in my own life as well as in others. I've even read about them on blogs. So with that said please keep my dear friend Leah in your prayers and head over to her blog for some uplifting thoughts and prayers. They just found out that their baby girl has a heart defect that will require surgery when she is born. I've known Leah for 5 years and Brandon has grown up with her husband Leah his whole life...they are a strong couple who will get through this...we love guys!


Monday, December 15, 2008

Doc Update

Well we are home now. We were at the doctors office form 9:30 to 1:00!

1. I had my GD test today and the fruit punch wasn't bad at all. I should have the results tomorrow. I told the nurse if I failed to not even call me because I can't handle anymore.

2. We had scheduled a 4D ultrasound today for a Christmas gift to our parents. My mom has really been wanting one so I thought it would be a perfect gift. Apparently Brody thought otherwise because he was face down and they couldn't even perform the 4D...so there goes that gift idea. They took Brody's measurements and he's still measuring 2 weeks ahead, thank goodness, I'd rather him be ahead than behind. Although one sign of GD is growing big babies...I'm knocking on wood this isn't our case. My fluid levels are great and cervix measured 3.4cm, which is good.

3. They hooked me up to the nonstress test monitor and of course I was contracting. At one point I was having them ever 2-3 minutes apart. After being on this for an hour we went to see Dr. B. She said I have preterm uterine irriability. As long as the contractions don't get stronger and as long as my cervix(which she checked) stays closed we are good.

4. I'm on bedrest for the time being as well as on the Procardia

5. We go back next Monday for another FFT test to see if I'm going to go into preterm labor and to check my cervix. We talked about the steroids to mature Brody's lungs but she doesn't think I need them at the moment. She said if my cervix starts to change or if I get on the FFT then we will do the steroid shots.

6. She said everyday after 28 weeks that Brody can stay in there is best. His lungs get stronger and stronger each day and he puts on more weight each day to give him the strength to breath when he gets out.

7. I only gained 1.5 pounds this month...this is a huge accomplishment for me because I was worried about Thanksgiving and all the yummies.

8. I got the vibe from Dr. B that I'm not going to make it to term or even 38 weeks. Talking about the steroids I just got the feeling that they were going to be in my near future and so is preterm labor...but I might be totally wrong. I'm taking the mental attitude of he's staying in there til 38 weeks...positive thinking!

9. Brody is no longer in the breech position and is now head first!

I have a few prayer request(power of prayer works!):
- For Brandon who is going to be my sub
- For my body to get use to this procardia, the side effects are not fun and make me really foggy and drugged
- For Brody that he stays in there and doesn't have any side effects of the drugs either
- That we make it to at least 34-36 weeks so that Brody will be ok on his own and won't require the NICU.


Sunday, December 14, 2008

28 Weeks - Third Trimester

We are in the third and final trimester!!! Needless to say this week has been a little crazy. Yesterday went alot better but of course I'm contracting again today. They are all over the place so I'm not worrying about them.

I woke up this morning with a double nose bleed and then my shot instantly started to bruise my stomach so I have a huge green bruise :) Good times!

How do you spell suckage = BEDREST

Tomorrow is my GD test, U/S and doctors appointment at 9:45. So we will know more then. I went ahead and called into work because I'm almost 100% sure that she's not going to take me off bedrest considering I'm on the medicine to stop contractions yet I'm still having contractions. I believe after this appointment we will be down to every 2 week visits.

Here's Brody's 28 week development:
By this week, your baby weighs two and a quarter pounds and measures 14.8 inches from the top of his head to his heels. He can blink his eyes, which now sport lashes. With his eyesight developing, he may be able to see the light that filters in through your womb. He's also developing billions of neurons in his brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside world.
Please stay in there and grow baby! I promise its better right now in there than out here!!

Here are some pics of this weeks graduation celebration:

Graduation party at Joe T's:

I feel your pain buddy boy I feel your pain!

Thanks everyone who came to Joe T's to help B celebrate this milestone in our lives. He had a great time and much needed family/friend time! We appreciate all the gifts and well wishes! I cannot begin to tell you how thankful we are to have such a great support system.

I know I say this alot but we are so blessed with such a great family. Marcy took all the pictures for me this weekend as well as picked up the cake for Joe T's(Thanks Marcy!) My mom and dad came over yesterday while B went to run some errands. My dad entertained me and my mom cleaned the living room, kitchen, did laundry and ran to pick up some groceries. Your a lifesaver mom!!!! They also stopped by today after the party to check on me and keep me company. Tonight Poppy and Nana came over to delivery a recliner for guest that come to visit in the bedroom and Nana fixed me a scrambled egg sandwich and did some dishes. Thanks guys....we really appreicate it. And I cannot even begin to explain how loved I am by my husband. He has had to wait on me hand and foot. We have had several late nights this week not to mention the stress of finals and our health. You don't realize what all you do in one day until you are laying flat on your back. He has taken such good care of me and hasn't complained once about doing it. I cannot thank him enough for everything that he has done. He's one AMAZING husband and I love him so much!!

I will update tomorrow after the doc appointment!

Saturday, December 13, 2008


Well it's 30 minutes before the start of Brandon's college graduation from UNT. I'm laying here in bed watching Brody dance across to my stomach to the Christmas music I'm playing him and I'm so thankful for his movements!

Although it completely sucks I'm not at B's graduation, thanks to technology I can watch LIVE on the internet...isn't that the greatest. I'm so proud of you honey!

I also have to give praise to the Lord for keeping Brody in there and keeping him safe and sound. And for also giving me peace of mind. I haven't been too worried about him or stressed by these contractions because I know he's in God's hands and whatever happens is what is best for our family, whatever outcome that might be. It's great to have such an awesome God to turn to for guidance and reassurance. He's also blessed me with the best family and friends thats right there taking care of any needs that might arise.

Congrats B! You are officially smarter than me :)

PS: On the side ticker today it says Brody can now breathe air! Thank you Lord!!

No Bueno

So B and I were at the hospital again last night from 11p to 4a. I started having contractions again at 6p that were all over the place in time and length but I had 6 in one hour so I called my doc as directed. The on call doc advised me to drink plenty of water(which I had already been doing), empty my bladder and take a hot bath to try and relax my uterus. In the meantime I asked my parents to come over and feel my stomach just to make sure these were actually contractions I was feeling(being a first timer I wanted to triple check). Sure enough they were and the bath didn't help. Now with my procardia in me I was still having them. They were getting stronger and were every 4-5 minutes apart so we decided to head in. The nurse hooked me on the monitor and sure enough there they were every 4-5 minutes. Brody was doing great though with a heartrate in the 150s like normal.

Terb was order(I'm starting to really hate this drug) and to much of my surprise actually stopped the contractions! Wednesday the terb didn't even touch me. But 45 minutes later they were back again. So I got a 2nd round of terb with Brody and I jittery as ever and our hearts racing out of our chest we calmed the lovely uterus down so that the contractions stopped.

They checked my cervix and its still hard and tight. So I asked the nurse if that were the case shouldn't we not worry about these contractions. She said since my FFT(I think thats what it is called) test came back negative its highly unlikely I will go in labor in the next 2 weeks but she did say that if I keep having contractions it can start to irritate the cervix and make it start to thin out or dilate so we have to get the contractions under control.

Not to sure how much more I can take but lovely uterus needs to knock it off asap!

Til next time,

Friday, December 12, 2008


I was released from the hospital yesterday at 3 and sent home on strict bedrest until my appointment Monday. The only reason I can get out of bed is to go to the bathroom or take a 10 minute shower once a day. I can't even sit up for long or lay on my back as they detected yesterday that it starts my contractions back up or causes Brody's heartrate to increase. I guess it puts too much pressure on the uterus.

I made a deal with Brody last night that he has to stay in there until at least 36 weeks and not irritate my uterus too much by bouncing around and I'll do what I have to do to keep him in there, so if he chills I will chill. That said I'm trying to take this bedrest thing with an upbeat attitude.

I'm going to miss Brandon's graduation this weekend as well as his graduation party on Sunday. I think that's the biggest bummer of all this. I was really looking forward to watching him cross that stage and see him in his cap and gown. He(We) have both sacrificed and worked hard for this degree and its been such a long road traveled that it doesn't seem right for me not to be there. But at the same time he has earned this and I want him to be able to go and enjoy himself!! Just know I'll be watching online babe!!!

He's been so great. He hooked me up as soon as we got home. He set up all my needs on my nightstand and then this morning before going to work he got all my snacks and breakfast ready and put all my waters in a cooler next to the bed. How great is he?? I really couldn't do this without him. He keeps me sane and encourages me when I feel I can't do this! He also tells me to suck it up when I need to just suck it up :)

My hope and prayers right now are that I will be released from bedrest come Monday. Hopefully this medicine will do the trick and calm my uterus down enough to allow me to go back at least half days. We will see! The good thing is I only have next week and then we are off for Christmas break for 2 weeks. I'm sure they will check my cervix length via u/s to make sure its not thinning and then go from there. I have a feeling a lot of fetal stress test are in my future.

Thus far the medicine is definitely working. I haven't had any contractions since last night. I had a few last night but it was right around the time for me to take my meds so they must have been wearing off. The medicine definitely doesn't come without side effects. Its a blood pressure medicine so it lowers my blood pressure. Which would be fine except I'm normally low to begin with. So I get extremely dizzy with this medicine and usually feel light headed for the first 2 hours I take it(I have to take it every 6 hours). Another side effect is torrible(from my nephew Ben) headaches and a flushed feeling like I'm sunburned. But all in all not to bad compared to that terbutaline I had the other day...that stuff stinks!!!

So if you have any suggestions on how to past the time on bedrest send me a comment! I'm already bored :)

Keep us in your prayers, little guy needs to stay in there for 8 more weeks!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Not a typical day

So I'm sitting here at Harris in L&D getting monitored...yup that's right, at the hospital.

Yesterday I didn't feel Brody move at all until I got home and laid on my side so that got me a little worried. Then this morning I couldn't feel him after having OJ and a Dr. Pepper so I called the doctors office for some reassurance that he was just sleeping or something.

When the nurse called back and found out that I had only felt him kicking 4 times since last night she said to drop everything and come in. When I got there they hooked me up for a fetal stress test and his heart rate was perfect but I was having frequent contractions, every 2-3 minutes.

So Dr. B got a preterm labor swab and sent me on my way to get monitored at the hospital. Three shots of terbutaline later and a whole bunch of jitters and shakes from them we were still contracting. My heartbeat was 125 so they could give me any more terbutaline. The preterm labor test came back negative, which is great, means I have a highly unlike chance of going into labor in the next 2 weeks but the doctor is concerned that the contractions didn't stop. So she's keeping me on a 24 hour observation and tried a new medicine procardia which has really helped the contractions. I haven't had any in 2 hours!!

The high risk doc, Tabor, who started me on Lovenox is coming by in the morning to check on me and Brody and we will go from there.

Good news...cervix isn't dilating...bad news....contractions didn't stop like they should with meds.

Keep y'all updated when I know more!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

27 Weeks

Wow...last week of the 2nd trimester...I cannot believe how fast it's flying by. This week was another great week for the McColloughs. It was rough at first getting back into the swing of things after being off a week but I look forward to the Christmas break in 2 weeks.

B is preparing for his finals this week and graduation is next Saturday...WHOHOO...we are super excited. We got the Christmas lights up and they look great, I love this time of year. We also got our living room cabinets, thanks Kevin! They look AMAZING and I can't wait to get the living room all arranged and pictures up.

Brody is moving around like crazy, I'm really going to miss this feeling when he's here. I've grown so use to his schedule and movements. I also started washing Brody's clothes...you can definitely tell he's the first born grandchild to an only child :) He has sizes from newborn to 24 months!

Here's little man's development at 27 weeks:
Most babies this age, yours included, still like to snuggle in a slightly curled position inside the uterus (thus the term "fetal position"). Even so, beginning at this stage, your baby's length will be measured from top of head to toe — which makes your baby nearly a full 15 inches now. And at just over two pounds, he or she has doubled in weight from four weeks ago. Your baby's auditory development (hearing) is progressing as the network of nerves to the ears matures. And even though the sounds your baby hears are muffled (thanks to the creamy coating of vernix covering those ears), he or she may recognize both yours and your partner's voices. So this might be a good time to read and even sing to your baby (or rather, your belly) — and a good chance to start boning up on those nursery rhymes and lullabies you'll need to be repeating (and repeating) pretty soon. And while you're at it, here's another way to have some family fun at 27 weeks pregnant: If your partner presses his ear to your belly, he might be able to hear the baby's heartbeat.
Your baby's taste buds are very developed now too (with more taste buds than he will ever have outside the womb, actually). Need a taste test? If you eat some spicy foodyour baby will be able to taste the difference in the amniotic fluid (but keep in mind that you'll have different mealtimes, with your baby's coming about two hours after yours). Some babies will even respond to that spicy kick by hiccupping. And although hiccups may seem like they're disturbing to your baby, he or she isn't stressed at all. It's just one more sensation that babies need to get used to.

27 Weeks
Have a great week!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

6 1/2 Amazing Months!!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Aunt Marcy Rocks!!

Brody got an early Christmas present from Aunt Marcy

It's the Vera Bradley diaper bag we've(Brody and I) been wanting!! Thanks Aunt Marcy...you are the best

Also cousins Andy and Ben got Brody this webkinz...it made Aunt Lee cry...it's a Bear!

Oh how I miss this dog!!!!