So what does it mean?

I thought I would give some more background on Factor V and what exactly these means to me:

A person with Factor V is at a greater risk of developing a blood clot in their lower leg which can travel to the lungs. It doesn't necessarily mean I will get a blood clot just that I'm at a 5 times greater risk of getting one than a person with Factor V.

Being pregnant complicates the disorder even more because you are developing a baby with all new veins, blood, etc. and the placenta and umbilicord is full of veins. So as far as the pregnancy, Factor V puts me at an increased risk for miscarriage/stillbirth, placental abruption, and pre-elampsia. Also a c-section would further complicate matters. My main two fears right now are stillbirth and a c-section. If you haven't noticed B and I have large heads...for our large brains so if our kid follows us then he/she will have a large head as well. I'm also worried about stillbirth. This can happen anytime after 30 weeks(I think) where a blood clot would form around the umbilicord cord and cut off supply to the baby. Pleacental abruption can also kill the baby because blood clots around the placenta weakening it and then the placenta pulls away and loses it's function. These are all risk...doesn't mean it will happen but at the same time could happen. Factor V was only discovered 10 years ago so there's not a whole lot of info and hard core stats on everything. They say that many, many women go without complications and have perfectly healthy children. They are also treated with heparin or lovenex which is a blood thinner to prevent blood clots. My doctor doesn't want to put me on this just yet. She wants to test me for the other two things and then go from there. I'm going to talk with her more on why exactly she doesn't want to put me on the blood thinner.

How I'm doing: At first I was ok. There's absolutely nothing I can do about this. It's completely out of my control and I can't change anything or do anything different to rid myself of Factor V. So I'm ok with that...I'm suppose to give this to God...put it in his hands...

So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own
Matthew 6:34

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;do not depend on your own understanding.Seek his will in all you do,and he will show you which path to take. - Proverbs 3:5-6

But saying this, reading this, and talking with God about this and then to not worry is a lot harder than it looks. I want to give this to God, I tell myself he knows the way that is best and that I shall not worry about it for he knows what I need. But that fear, for our unborn child, the fear of the unknown is just sometimes overwhelming. You want to protect your children, to give them the world and then to find out the house in which they need to live in order to survive is risky makes you feel like a failure. You aren't suppose to be risky, you're his/her mother! I had this picture...it was picture perfect of course, of what my pregnancy would be like. I would grow this perfect little bump and have a joyous pregnancy and B and I would be that obnoxiously lovey dovey couple. It would be complication free...isn't most? Now I feel like this pregnancy has just been casted a dark cloud of worry and fear over it. Am I a walking time bomb for loosing this baby? My doctor said that the upside is that I will see the baby more often via ultrasound. Yes, but will I be holding my breath everytime until I see that beating heart? Will I be anxious every night before the appointment in fear that there will be a blood clot on the placenta or umbilicord? So that's where I'm at now...I know I'll get in a better place mentally and emotionally, but for tonight...I'm here.

LeAnn